It’s appropriate that I haven’t gotten to writing this post until today. What would be John Lennon’s 70th birthday. Wasn’t writing to say anything about how great John was. He was obviously amazing in many way, but just like all of us he had his faults.
Early in his career he had a son at a time where the Beatles were just beginning to explode throughout the world. At the same time he was put in a position of having to choose to embark on this journey with his band vs his life with his wife and new son. It’s obvious now what direction he chose, but the effect of his decisions would carry on for years within his young son, Julian Lennon’s life.
If you know a little of the story, Julian missed his connection with his father. Only to watch him in later years, take off from music to spend time with and dote on his younger son Sean, who he had with Yoko Ono.
Hurtful as it may have seemed it was just a matter of circumstance. The Beatles had broken up and John had the luxury of not having to work and spend time with his new family. Julian just watched as a young boy wondering why he was neglected. Add to that the years he fought with Yoko after John passed. Fighting for his right to have a piece of his late father’s estate. All giving him more reason to hate Yoko.
On the Oct 3 edition of CBS Sunday Morning, they aired a segment on Julian and the relationship he now has with Sean and Yoko. It was moving in many ways as it was about his new life as a photographer and more so his ability to leave his past feelings of hurt and anger towards Yoko and his father behind for the good of his relationship with Sean.
I mention all of this as I only aspire to be able to leave past feelings of hurt and/or anger behind. We’ve all experienced these feelings in some way, but strength to move past them, accept them and understand is a true gift to oneself. I’ve felt that being an only child of a single mother watching my father not participate in any part of my life. All the while trying to make contact and a connection with him over the years to no avail. Those feelings of hurt and anger I held onto for so long until he passed away, finally able to let them go.
I still have feelings of anger and hurt that linger from past relationships, friendships, etc. I keep pushing myself to understand that holding onto these feelings for too long will only hurt me in the end. Only forgiveness and understanding will free me to an internal peace. For now I’ll just aspire to others that have gotten there like Julian. For now I will just have to imagine…
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